6165 Week 4 Blog

This week I asked my boyfriend and my Mom to fill out the evaluations of me as a communicator.  Once they sent me the results and I completed my own assessment I looked back at the results.  I also chose to have a conversation with each of them to learn more about how they rated me and why. 

The thing that surprised me the most was that they almost never perceived my discomfort when talking to others.  There was one question that said, “I avoid talking to individuals I don’t know very well” and both my boyfriend and Mom said “Never” for this item.  While I do push myself to talk to others and engage strangers in conversation I do not find it easy or natural.  I was interested to find out that they think this is an area where I excel in communication.  Talking to new people definitely gives me anxiety but I push through it with the hopes that I will meet someone great or learn something new.

Another interesting thing I noticed was that both my boyfriend and Mom saw my impatience at times.  I am a fast talker and a fast thinker.  I do not need a very long time to get my ideas together and I tend to be a quick, witty person.  This sometimes leads me to get frustrated when communicating with others.  There was one statement that said, “I am impatient with people who ramble during conversations”.  This is definitely an area where I could use some practice in communication and patience.  Sometimes I jump ahead to what I think the other person is going to say and focus on my next statement to them. 

Since this course began I have become much more aware of my communication with others.  I have been making a conscious effort to be a better listener by practicing patience and listening to find out more information.  I have noticed that people respond really well to me remembering something they spoke about and bringing it up to ask about it.  Two examples happened this week.  One was when a softball friend told me he was taking his EMT test on Tuesday.  He conveyed his nervousness and his hope that he would pass.  I texted him on Tuesday to wish him luck and followed up on Wednesday to see how it went.  He was so happy to share the details of his experience.  The other situation took place when a friend told me she was preparing to make a themed meal with the two little girls she babysits.  The next day I checked in with her to ask what theme they chose and how it went.  In both situations the other person I was speaking with seemed genuinely excited that I had remembered a part of our conversation and decided to follow up with them.

6164 Week 4 Blog

This week I found myself very aware of the interactions around me.  I was on the lookout for microaggressions in all settings.  What I found was that I actually had an interaction with a friend that could be seen as a form of microaggression.  My friend Janine moved here from Canada less than a year ago.  She and her husband always get teased about being Canadian.  While friends mean these things good-naturedly I started to realize that they could be hurtful.  The other day Janine was telling a story about a car trip she and her husband took.  She made the statement that she tried to get the “transporters” to honk at her on the highway.  I jokingly told her, “Here in the United States we call those semis, Canada.”  I did not think anything of this comment at the time, but later in the week it dawned on me that this was a form of microaggression.  Janine and her husband will always feel like outsiders if we keep joking like this.  Making a comment that exploits how they are different and making them feel as though they don’t belong in the US because of the things they say is just not okay.

Well-intentioned people say things that could be considered microaggressions quite often.  I am glad that this course has brought it to my attention.  I would never want someone to feel discriminated against by something that I said.  If my friend would have brought up this interaction before this course I would have thought she was overreacting.  After watching the video segment this week I realize how hurtful things like this can be.  While my comment was not meant harshly and was only one little thing (to me) it could be compounding from Janine’s point of view.

6165 Week 3 Blog

I think that there are always differences in communication depending on your audience.  When I go to church I act and speak differently than I do during dinner my family.  As such, I do think my communication is probably different when I communicate with people from different groups and cultures.  When I communicate with someone who is from a different political affiliation, for example, I may tread lightly on the topic of politics or avoid it altogether.  I would be careful as I would be worried I might offend the person I was communication with.

One thing I think I could work on when communicating with people from other cultures is not being afraid do have discussions.  Talking is learning.  The more I engage in conversation and ask questions, the more I know.  I think that shying away from talking about tough issues is what keeps them tough issues.  This is something I know I do and I would love to work on.  I would also like to branch out with my communication.  In a crowd I definitely gravitate towards people I know or people who are “like me” which means I have missed out on getting to know many different people from different backgrounds.  Finally, I need to take the time to listen.  I am a busy person (like everyone else) and I tend to be a bit loud.  This sometimes means that I talk over others or don’t give them time to get their ideas out because I am always on the go.  Slowing down and being more purposeful in my conversations will be good for me.

6164 Week 3 Blog

I contacted three different people this week to hear their perspectives on culture and diversity.  The first person I asked was my friend Monica.  She is a fellow educator in the early childhood field.  The second person I asked was my Mom.  She is always there for me and ready to help!  Finally, I asked my stepfather who is from Syria.  I thought he could provide both a male perspective and one from a different race.  Below are the definitions they gave me:

•      Monica:  “I like to think of culture as the environment that a group of individuals share; for example, my classroom.  The culture is made up of diversity among the group.  The culture is not only the differences, but how the individuals react to those differences.  The ideal culture is one where there is diversity but it is embraced.  It is the overall energy or feeling of the environment.   My definition of diversity is a collection of differences among a group of people; this could include interests, backgrounds, religions, cultures, music, and opinions. 
•     Mom:  “To me, culture is an atmosphere of traditions, mannerisms, beliefs, foods, and dress of a group of people.  Diversity is the collection of different cultures.  Diversity can include race, religion, sexual preference, age, etc.”
•     Stepfather:  “I see culture as where you are from, your customs, and your traditions.  I see diversity as being different.”

Some aspects of culture and diversity from this course that were included in their answers were the ideas that they include many things.  All of the definitions spoke of customs, traditions, and differences.  Some went more in-depth and realized that culture is made up of things like interests, opinions, age, and sexual preference. 

One thing that I noticed was omitted from all of the definitions was a deeper meaning of culture.  While my Mom and Monica touched on a few important things, I still felt that all of the definitions were pretty superficial. 

I think the snapshot I got of the definitions of culture and diversity is pretty typical.  Before the start of this course my definitions would have been very similar.  This assignment made me realize that I have grown in my own understanding of culture and diversity.  Instead of just seeing the outward things that are fun and exotic (food, dress, language) I realize that culture also entails the way a family interacts or parents, as well as what they value, and so much more.

6165 Week 2 Blog

The show that I chose to use for this example is called The Middle.  When I was watching with the sound turned off I thought there seemed to be quite a bit of conflict within the family.  The teenage girl in the show used very over-the-top hand gestures and appeared to be yelling.  There always seemed to be someone with a disappointed or upset look on their face.  From the interaction between the oldest male and female characters I would assume they are married.  They had physical contact in the form of hand holding, lived in the same house, and seemed to interact with the children together.

When I turned the sound on and watched the same part of the episode I realized there were some areas where I was right on and others that I missed the mark.  While the teenage girl does appear to be yelling (and she kind of is) she is being goofy and dramatic more than angry or upset.  The body language seemed the same and without the sound I was unable to tell the tone that she spoke with.  The oldest male and female characters were married so I was correct about that.  The assumption that everyone is always fighting was right and wrong.  While they do seem to argue quite a bit I missed the fact that often it is playful banter.  

The tone of the characters and the show led me to believe that they are a close-knit family who jokes around and argues despite my initial reaction that they were angry.

If I watched the show often I think my assumptions would have definitely been more accurate.  It was clear in just a few minutes that they were not angry people.  They are a large family with two working parents and the show seems to chronicle their life as a funny adventure of mishaps.

One thing I realized during this exercise is that while body language and facial expressions tell a lot, they don’t tell everything.  The tone with which one speaks also conveys a lot of our meaning during communication.  The same phrase could be said in a number of different tones and mean a number of different things.

6164 My Family Culture

The three things I would take with me if I had to evacuate to another country would be a bible, my Mom’s cookbook, and a photo album.  When I got to the other country with a different culture I think that the cookbook and photo album would be relatively easy to explain.  While they may not contain the same recipes or photos, I think every culture could understand having special foods and memories.  The bible might be more difficult to explain as other cultures practice different religions.  There are even places where my bringing or reading the bible might be a huge offense.

If, when I got there, I was told I could only keep one item I would be okay with that.  I actually had a difficult time thinking of three items that are that important to me.  If my family was coming with me I would be all set.  Material possessions might help me feel like I had a piece of home with me, but I’ve never felt that I needed things to feel whole.  If I couldn’t bring the photo album I would still have memories in my mind and heart.  If I couldn’t bring the cookbook, there are many meals that I have learned to cook without the recipe and my Mom could teach me more.  If I couldn’t bring the bible, I would pray and rely on verses that I know by heart.

From this exercise I realize that some things cross cultural divides while others may be harder to explain.  I also understood that while I had a hard time coming up with three possessions, the things I chose represent my family culture well.  We value faith, education, healthy meals, and spending time together as a family.

6265 Week 1 Blog

One person that I feel communicates very well is my friend Leah.  She is a great listener which you can tell by talking to her as well as watching her body language.  She always looks attentive and is able to repeat what she has heard to check for understanding. One thing I love about Leah is that she listens without looking for an opportunity to talk.  She is actually listening and not just formulating her response while I finish talking.  I would love to have her ability to sympathize but not feel the need to fix a problem or give advice.